Love and lust are easily mistaken for one another, especially at a young age. Parents as well as spiritual leaders should be alerting the young people about the dangers of mistaking lust for love. Lust comes from ourselves, love comes from God. If you don’t know the other person loves God, you are lusting at first sight. That’s not to say that the person of your initial attraction won’t become your great love in life, even turn into “the one” as people call it.
There is no such thing as “love at first sight”, there is however an “attraction at first sight”. We can’t truly love someone that we know nothing about. We can be attracted by their looks, by their personality, by their laughter, and we can be attracted by many other aspects of that person, but as a Christian you can’t be romantically in love with someone that isn’t in love with the Lord.
I know many people swear that they were in “love” the second they saw their spouses but it wasn’t love, it was attraction. There’s lust/attraction at the first sight. A Christian should never, ever, judge someone by their appearance as I have written about in a previous post, but when considering someone for dating/marriage I see many people cherry-picking the candidates. You might see someone that’s a real eye-candy and just hope that the person you have found so attractive believes in the things you do.
2 Corinthians 6:14
Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?
What if that other person is an Atheist, or Muslim, or is following any other religion that isn’t following Christ? We know from 2 Corinthians 6:14 that we simply can’t be under the yoked with an unbeliever. Missionary dating, where we try to convert that person to our faith might not always work, and if it doesn’t we would have wasted our time for nothing and we will just get hurt in the process. We should always seek someone that loves Christ more than anyone to begin with. First sight attraction, maybe, but never love at first sight because our true love rests in Christ.
A research came out on February stating that 98% of all long distance relationship couples use Skype to keep in touch, and also that 1 in every 3 of those couples use Skype for “inappropriate” calls. People don’t realize that they’re defiling themselves whether in person or over Skype when they participate in those impure type of video calls. The temptation and lust is real whether next to someone or over Skype. 1 Corinthians 6:18 tells us to “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body." God doesn’t tell us to calmly walk away nor He tells us to confront it, He just tell us to flee! We are not strong enough to resist this kind of temptation. Jesus knows that, as He tells us in Matthew 24 that “the spirit is willing, but the body is weak!”
Can non-believers be happy with someone that they lusted at first sight? Sure, they might even be together for their entire lives, but I sure hope they find Christ before their death otherwise their love will end at their deaths and they’ll only experience eternal suffering after death. Christians are held up to a higher standard, just as Israel was held up to a higher standard in the Old Testament times. We are to follow Christ and love Him first and foremost. We are not to love our spouses, our children, our parents, not even ourselves more than Christ.
If you want to be my disciple, you must hate everyone else by comparison—your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be my disciple.
"Opposites attract" is a horrible saying for true Christian love. We must never be yoked with unbelievers, because we’d want someone to help us carry on the weight of faith and repentance. Jesus said in Matthew 11:30 that “For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light" and even though it’s light and easy, you want to find someone to help you in life to carry it. Find someone that loves the Lord and is willing to accept and follow His Word. Don’t settle for someone that is just the opposite of your faith, after all no one can ever come between you and the Lord. Opposites should not attract for a Christian.
No husband, wife, children, parents, relatives will ever be more important than Jesus, as Jesus Himself tells us in Matthew 10:37. The Lord explained that your marriage will end at the end of your life in Luke 20 when He said: “Jesus replied, “Marriage is for people here on earth, but when those who are counted worthy of being raised from the dead get to heaven, they do not marry" but if someone brings you joy here on Earth, wouldn’t you want that person to have everlasting joy in Christ after their deaths too? The love of unbelievers will end once they are judged to Hell and they’ll just be spending eternity in despair and agony.
Remember what 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 tells us: “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body." Remember, "your" body is not really your own, it belongs to God so please don’t defile His temple. Lust tempts us to defile His temple. True love waits, lust doesn’t.
Always seek someone that loves the Lord and is in love with your devotion to the Lord. Find someone that loves Jesus first and foremost.
Seek someone that chases after the Lord. If someone isn’t chasing the Lord, that person isn’t worth being chased after.
The closer to God a couple get, the closer they’ll come together as one.